Wannabe...

I want to be brilliant.


Not just smart.
Not just knowledgeable,
Not just a book-lover.
Not just cute.
Not just weird.
Not just easily entertained.
Not easily fooled.


I mean, I want to be a bright young woman who exemplifies Christ in everything. And I want to be super smart, make people laugh, love my work and enjoy the people I work with. I want to run just for fun, to love my body, to look in the mirror and say, "This is the life!". I want to be so smart and able to apply that knowledge into useful problem solving and abundant people skills.


Please tell me that one day I'll get there... Being called "brilliant" will be the best compliment anyone could ever give me.


Oh... And I wanna be humble about it too...


Now back out of la-la land I go.
Love always,
KT

Heart Wrenching...

I took my beautiful pup, Rusty (5 YO), to the vet today. We were really going to get his dew claw (the one that looks like it could be his thumb) checked out because he snagged it on a blanket Tuesday night and it's been bothering him. He also needed his shots updated, so of course that was taken care of.

However... I found out today that he has heartworms... The young vet kindly but sternly told me the course of treatment recommended in addition to the adverse effects if Rusty goes untreated. She also told me how much it's going to cost: a lot. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that his life's not worth it! I plan to use whatever I can to get my precious boy taken care of.

I just feel so... helpless! There's nothing I can do now but give him his medicine (he's on antibiotics from the claw and a powder for intestinal worms) and make sure he gets the treatments (preventative heartworm pills then an overnight stay at the clinic to kill the adult worms in his heart). Now every time I look at Rusty I have this image of nasty worms in his tiny heart... Stopping up arteries and slowly choking him to death.

Obviously, I have to pay for the treatments (2 separate visits-- 1 for a day, the other is the overnight stay). That doesn't bother me-- yeah, there will be constraints and I may not be able to go out and buy some clothes or spend the money eating out, but that doesn't matter! I need him to be healthy and happy. He needs his heart to be healthy so he can do what he enjoys most: running around our 15 acres, chasing tennis balls, and dipping in the pond to cool off. I just hate that when I look at him how worried I get.. But at least I'll be here this summer to be beside him through the process. Right now I feel like an awful parent who could've prevented all this (hearworm pills do just that) but we couldn't afford to take him to the vet, and I honestly didn't know how bad this could be... 

So, if you're reading this, please pray for Rusty. And please pray for my family. The treatments and care will be hard for him and us. He's a young, active dog and deserves the best care imaginable. He's my heart and my joy... 


Because He watches over even the sparrows.
KT

You know who I mean...

That person...
Yup, I bet a lot of people have one. A certain someone who you just don't know how to define. You like each other but for various reasons it will just never work. It's the sad truth.

And it may not be a romantic thing either. You could have a friend who comes and goes from your life.

To all those people who have a person, I'm praying for you. Maybe one day things will work out and you'll both meet in the middle. Probably not though. Because if God's will isn't in it, I doubt he'd let it happen.

So stay strong and keep doing your thing. Love on that person who swings like a pendulum back and forth into your life, because he/she is easy to love and you care for him/her. Just know that you could get hurt and try not to set yourself up for failure. But keep loving and persevering because there's a reason for your person.

Some dreams do come true!

I applied to be an admissions ambassador for my school. So did a bunch of other people (about 50ish). And we all had our interviews last week. I felt mine went pretty well- I wasn't nervous: I just went in there as myself and answered the panel's questions. But I also didn't talk about the general responsibilities of the job... Because I knew all of them and that aspect of things didn't even cross my mind! Needless to say, I've been nervous ever since. Friday (as in 2 days from now) we were all supposed to find out who got orientation leader spots.
Buuuutttt I was sitting in the library computer lab next to a guy friend when a girl in front of me got an email confirming that she had a spot as an orientation leader. So I quickly logged onto my email, and yes indeed I made it on the list!!! I straight up squealed with excitement. Unfortunately my lovely rookie B also interviewed and didn't get a position... But she is amazing and sent me a congratulatory text and when I expressed my thanks and disappointment she humbly stated that God still has a plan. What an amazing roomie!!
To sum things up, I now have to work graduation in May, go to a retreat with everyone else chosen, and work the summer orientations then 12 of the 20 chosen will be next year's ambassadors. Overall, I just pray that it's glorifying to God and a fun experience!! Because I'm pumped. :)
Until the next time,
KT

Where da time at?!

I want to post... Very much so! Unfortunately, life is busy and blogging (following and posting) has fallen to the wayside. Hopefully, this week I will get back into the groove of blogging. Until then, here's a preview of some things I would love to blog about:

• Spring Break mission trip to NOLA
• Shopping this weekend with Granny, Mama, and Cousin C
• We found so many bargains!
• School
• GOD! He's mighty powerful. :)
• New phone (aka new addiction)
• Getting back into the groove of working out
• Lent... 
• Summer plans
• Recycling

Until I get some reading done for school and give some assignments thorough kicks in their respective but proverbial rears, my 3 followers will be sorely disappointed with no postings.

Until then, I pray that God has sent you here to read my ramblings musings for his glory. If you have any questions, please shoot me an email at sparechangeblog@gmail.com!

Sincerely,

KT

That feeling...

Do you know that feeling when you're so apprehensive and worried about the millions of things to do?
Yup, I have had that feeling all week. (See below post for my long to-do list.)
And you know what? That's just plain unhealthy. For an entire week I deprived myself of facebook, blogs, and stumbleupon. Not only did I avoid internet distractions, I haven't spent quality time with my friends in a while. The sad thing is I've done all this to keep my GPA up. And you know what? I've lived for school and projects... But what is that going to get me in the long run? 

• Anti-social behavior
• Unhappiness
• Anxiety
• Headaches (Oh yes, I've had one every day this week!)
• Loss of appetite (if you know me, you know I enjoy food!)

I've been experiencing a lot of these bullet points, and honestly I don't like it.

In response to my own anxiety and burnout, it's time to turn a new leaf and start enjoying moments. Because, honestly, this week was awful and I'm not ready to experience another one like it or let my whole life become that horrible!

*Though I did go see the Bieber movie Thursday night with my wonderful roommate, B. It's amazing! I highly recommend it.*

Breathing easier now,
KT

To Do Today To Die

I'm not sure where it comes from, but that phrase (to do today to die) always pops in my head when I think of my to-do list for the day...
And this one's pretty long:

• Tetanus paper-- due tomorrow
• Read Shahname passage for lit-- tomorrow
• SLAP power-point-- due Wed
• Read 1/2 Huxley's Brave New World-- Wed
• Popliteus tendinitis & fabella syndrome power-point-- due Friday
• Study for knee check-off
• Plan my week (food, meetings, moneys and assignments due, etc...)

All that and all that's been accomplished so far is

• Tetanus paper!
• Talked to Mom and Dad :)
• Church! 
• Lunch
• Catching up on some blogs I read. It's becoming a major form of procrastination...

It's also such a beautiful day; all I want to do is go outside... Solution? KT + lit book + outside for the last bits of the pretty day before the sun sets. Then that SLAP lesion  power-point must be thoroughly kicked in the butt!

Until my work is done,

KT